Tis the Season...

"For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say, trample under their feet but I would speak in other words -- they set him at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels."  1 Nephi  19:7

Tis the Season to remember Christ and at the very least, to remember His teachings of love and service and faith and hope. A very Merry Christmas to everyone.

Let's Talk About Women!

There is a very prominent practice in parts of Africa which the English speaking world calls "Female Genital Mutilation." This is not a post about that practice, though I will convey that no matter your argument for cultural supremacy, I have a staunch bias that this is wrong despite cultural context. What I want to focus on is a related aspect of this cultural tradition which is that the women of the village are generally those who perform this "cutting," and that it is the women who are primarily responsible for continuing the practice. I had a teacher who once called this leadership of women, the "good women" of the village, because despite this being a terrible practice (again, I know that is my opinion and hers), the women who do this continue the idea that only those who also engage in the practice are worthy of marriage, village leadership, etc. Thus, to be a good woman, you must engage in this practice.

I have thought a great deal about this, and the influence that these women had on a practice that has continued for many years now.

And then I thought about our society, and who the good women would be, and how it would vary so much depending on your perspective, but  how I wished that in general, more of feminism focused on instilling confidence in women about being women. Fighting for more rights, fighting for a voice, fighting for a cause, these are all good, but I wonder if sometimes it ends up more the fighting part than the rights part, and if this has in a way become our "good women" custom. To really be a good woman, a woman who cares about being a woman, you too must fight outwardly, loudly, conformistly to a feminism package, and how it feels a bit like you can't easily chose what you would like in your particular bundle... or you can, but there are certain beliefs that must be included in all packages along with whatever elective ones you throw in. (If I have lost you by now, fear not...just comment about it at the bottom, so that I can better articulate my feelings in the future.)

Anyway, my real point in all of this is that I feel disconnected with these bigger than me campaigns. I don't find them meaningless or unimportant...I just don't feel like they speak to me in the same way that talking to my neighbor about how cool it is that we are women does. I guess that putting aside what the "good women" of the past or present may have been or are; I hope that we can do our part in making our culture one where every woman feels valued and appreciated because the people she interacts with on a daily basis help her to feel this way just as she helps them feel that way.

What do you think about that? Do I even make sense? Do I seem closed minded? Do I seem to be oversimplifying this? I welcome all thoughts on the subject. Have you ever felt this way?

Mark Your Calendars

I should like to encourage you to mark your calendars for this coming Monday and Tuesday, October 1 and 2 at 8/7c. The book, "Half the Sky" has been made into a documentary for PBS which will be aired on those days, and I HIGHLY recommend that you tune in for that. I believe that this will also be available on the Internet. 

In case you haven't heard of half the sky, I will embed a link for the preview and then just talk through my experience with this book. Click here to see the preview. 

I cannot speak for the entire book as I have not yet finished it, but I probably read 3/4s before law school and having a child took of my life. This book talks through many of the struggles that women have throughout the world. Though I have read other books on women's issues, this book is particularly compelling because it looks at the individual. 

This is not a documentary for the faint in heart. Really hard issues will be discussed, but I promise it will inspire you. I do not necessarily endorse all the remedies that the authors suggest to solve these problems, nor do I condone where much of the criticism is directed, but I still think that this is an exciting and inspiring movement. 

Topics in the book: Female Genital Mutilation, Education for Women/Girls, Child Marriage, Sex Trafficking, Rape, Lack of Property Rights, Domestic Violence, Self Defense, Inheritance Rights 

Of course, the list isn't fully inclusive, but a broad spectrum of issues will be covered, and I genuinely think that this is going to be an excellent program, so please TUNE IN!

Additionally, I wanted to mention that I am a member of a very large women's society. Twice a year, this Relief Society has a general assembly. That meeting will take place this Saturday, September 29 at 6pm mountain time. It streams on-line as well as on TV based on your available channels. If you are interested in that the link is here. 

The Relief Society is the arm of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints targeted at organizing, teaching, and inspiring the female members as well as increasing faith, strengthening families and home, and seeking out and helping those in need. 

I particularly enjoy this general meeting because I feel that the messages shared fall in line with my personal belief of what the relief society could and should be if it's members took seriously the opportunity offered to them through their membership. I love the Relief Society, and I am grateful for my membership in it. While it may not seem as sexy or as hands on as other organizations which claim to deal with women's issues, I know that within my own community this gives me an opportunity to help women in need and be strengthened by other women within the relief society. Finally, if you are interested in this organization, you are welcome to come and be a part anytime. Just let me know! 

A History Lesson : Women At Work

Woman. Whoa man. WOOOOOOOOOOMAN. Of course this needs be read with the enthusiasm that only Mike Meyers can offer in "So I Married and Axe Murderer." If you are unfamiliar, when you are down on your luck for a spot of culture, visit the following you tube video. 

But bearing that in mind, I want to relate a story that occurred in a recent Elder Law class. Elder Law essentially means law for old people. I am sure my professor's heart is breaking into a million pieces with that definition since we spent the better part of an entire lecture breaking down just what Elder Law really was, but come on... at its core. Elder Law = Law for old people. 

Anyway, we were discussing the social security system and how disbursement works related to various factors such as who you were married to, how long you were married, whether you ever worked in your life time, how to define the period of time that encompasses work, etc. 

Now quick recap of social security in case you are unfamiliar. The idea is that you are sort of providing a safety net for yourself in the future by paying into a pot of money now. It's essentially a kind of retirement insurance that you qualify for once you are 65 years of age. And while there may be quite a few criticisms of this system, I was rather impressed with the provisions that it made for women, especially women that may not have had occasion to work outside of the home. Social security came as part of the New Deal Reform that FDR instituted following/during the Great Depression as a result of the destitution that so many (including the elderly) faced. 

Anyway, this is all just great background for the real point of this post. My teacher asked about why some of these provisions would have been made with various special provisions for women. A rather exuberant fellow female classmate offered the confident suggestion that it probably had to do with the fact that women didn't work previous to the Great Depression and that due to the lack of contraception they were just baby factories kept at home to produce. CAN I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, THIS IS ONE OF MY GREATEST ANNOYANCES IN LIFE BUT PARTICULARLY IN MY SCHOOL LIFE. 

The annoyance is 2 fold:

1. Being uninformed about the actual history of women ( i.e. the incredible amount that they were working in industries outside the home like dye factories (Les Miserables anyone?) for example and/or the fact that for many the home was the place of business due to family owned shops or farms, that industrialization and labor laws took work from an all the time at home affair to an away from home 9-5 affair).

2. Reducing the bearing and rearing of children as inconsequential and somehow less important than a job outside the home. 

I was very glad to hear my professor disagree with her, but I was very bothered to hear how pervasive these two misunderstandings were/are regarding women. (You should be proud to know that I actually DID OPEN MY MOUTH on this one and mention the bit regarding home being the place of business pre-industrialization.) 

So, let me just tell you. I am passionate about women and women's issues/plights/rights etc. HOWEVER, I am equally passionate about men and men's issues/plights/rights etc. as it pertains to the relationship between the two and the family. I am not in favor of a separate but equal approach to the gender divide but neither am I the least bit comfortable with the 'one size fits all' view of gender and gender roles. I am a 'STAKE MY LIFE ON IT' BELIEVER that men and women are different AND that both are valuable and necessary components of any truly functioning society. SO, there must be parity between the sexes. Parity meaning that differences exist but that there is equality in the differences i.e. men and women in all realms of society working together using their different perspectives to come to a more reasoned conclusion than any one person could or any single gendered group could. 

In our society, this is a very difficult concept to grasp because we are so conditioned to think that if a difference exists there must be an inherent order: see separate but equal above.  A difference means that one will be stronger/wealthier/smarter/better/freer than the other weaker/poorer/dumber/worse/tied-down alternative, but I contend that doesn't have to be. So welcome to my first great pondering passion: how to make others see PARITY and share my zeal enough to infuse our society with it. I should very much like to make my influence felt through parity. 

What do you think of this readers? What are your great pondering passions? What do you think about the genders and how they are getting on these days? 

What sounds do you make?

I sat on the couch today reading, "Can you ROAR like a lion?" to my 3.5 month old baby boy after a long day of law school, and it got me thinking. I spend nearly all my time reading and discussing what Justice so and so thought about this clause or that amendment. In fact, I have become so accustomed to spending all my time figuring out what other "authorities" say that after several pages of learning the various sounds that jungle animals make, I flipped to the final cardboard enforced page and felt instantly haunted by the closing sentence, "What sounds do you make?"

It struck me that most days I hope very much to make no sounds at all. At least in class. The name of the game there is flying under the radar. But I felt a little ashamed that this has become my goal.

I have thoughts and feelings and opinions, but unfortunately, I find myself too often too eager to suppress those in an effort to keep things calm and moving along. That is unfortunate.

I once had a professor in college that said, "You know what you are passionate about because you can talk to yourself about it all the way home from work and not even care that people stop to stare at you wondering who in the world you are talking to."

Well, I have those subjects in my life that provoke such emotion and interest from me that my thoughts are completely lost in it, and so, in an effort to find my voice and help you do the same, I intend to make my influence felt by expressing some of those opinions on this blog, and I hope that you will do the same.

So dear friends and readers...what sounds do/can/will you make?