There is a very prominent practice in parts of Africa which the English speaking world calls "Female Genital Mutilation." This is not a post about that practice, though I will convey that no matter your argument for cultural supremacy, I have a staunch bias that this is wrong despite cultural context. What I want to focus on is a related aspect of this cultural tradition which is that the women of the village are generally those who perform this "cutting," and that it is the women who are primarily responsible for continuing the practice. I had a teacher who once called this leadership of women, the "good women" of the village, because despite this being a terrible practice (again, I know that is my opinion and hers), the women who do this continue the idea that only those who also engage in the practice are worthy of marriage, village leadership, etc. Thus, to be a good woman, you must engage in this practice.
I have thought a great deal about this, and the influence that these women had on a practice that has continued for many years now.
And then I thought about our society, and who the good women would be, and how it would vary so much depending on your perspective, but how I wished that in general, more of feminism focused on instilling confidence in women about being women. Fighting for more rights, fighting for a voice, fighting for a cause, these are all good, but I wonder if sometimes it ends up more the fighting part than the rights part, and if this has in a way become our "good women" custom. To really be a good woman, a woman who cares about being a woman, you too must fight outwardly, loudly, conformistly to a feminism package, and how it feels a bit like you can't easily chose what you would like in your particular bundle... or you can, but there are certain beliefs that must be included in all packages along with whatever elective ones you throw in. (If I have lost you by now, fear not...just comment about it at the bottom, so that I can better articulate my feelings in the future.)
Anyway, my real point in all of this is that I feel disconnected with these bigger than me campaigns. I don't find them meaningless or unimportant...I just don't feel like they speak to me in the same way that talking to my neighbor about how cool it is that we are women does. I guess that putting aside what the "good women" of the past or present may have been or are; I hope that we can do our part in making our culture one where every woman feels valued and appreciated because the people she interacts with on a daily basis help her to feel this way just as she helps them feel that way.
What do you think about that? Do I even make sense? Do I seem closed minded? Do I seem to be oversimplifying this? I welcome all thoughts on the subject. Have you ever felt this way?
Hey Bekah! This is Julia. I read this post earlier and have meant to comment on it. Sorry it took me so long. I want to comment not only because what you've shared is interesting but because I want you to keep sharing!
ReplyDeleteSO, it is fascinating that it is the women in these cultures that continue the female genital mutilation practice; and that they are considered the "good women" of society if they do practice it.
This doesn't seem to far from other biases in other cultures about what constitutes a "good woman." If you want to marry and want to be considered a "good" choice or of a "good" character then you are often influenced by what that culture considers "good."
Even though it is the women who continue the practice of female genital mutilation I'm sure it is because for centuries they have been influenced heavily by the male population in their culture into believing that that practice is included in the whole package of what is considered a "good" woman, wife, mother, etc.
As I've written this I have actually discovered that I have many thoughts about this but I don't want to take up too much space on here. Let's chat sometime about, Bekah! :-)